A Search for Unity

I'm at somewhat of a crossroads in life — letting go of things old and starting things new. And as it always is with such things there is a lot of mixed emotion to go with it. There is excitement and anticipation about what the future holds, and a good amount of nostalgia for days gone by. There is, in fair measure, fear; fear of letting go of the old, and apprehension about the new. I suppose in essence it is fear of change. Having to deal with that has made me keenly aware of just how much my thoughts and actions are influenced by emotions related to the past or the future.

The past gives rise to familiarity, a sense of security in things as they are. I suppose it can also be a source of regret about things that could have gone differently. All of these serve to influence my response to situations in the present. In some cases for the better, but in many cases, by the force of habit and resistance to change, for the worse. It takes courage to break the mould of the past and step into the unfamiliar. As much as we can learn from what has happened before, we can get burdened by it. It can stop us doing the right thing now.

So too for the future — how often are actions driven by a desired future, be it based on ambition, regret, or simply a desire for the least change from the status quo. In either case the future rarely turns out like we want it to. Forces beyond our control will modify the course and result of our actions, and throw at us unforeseen change and challenges, even windfalls. Yet in the face of this it is so easy to cling to that desired future, to fail to recognise the changing landscape and to take the opportunities it affords.

In putting so much thought and energy into the past and the future, we so easily fail to truly live the present moment. The mind is either focused on what has been, or what will be, forgetting to experience what is. Which, perhaps, is why so many spiritual teachers place such importance on doing just that: being wholly present now. While the past can hold many lessons, and future many hopes, all we really have is the present. If we were able to act only from the present then change would come easily, and the ideals of the future would be experienced now. Fear of things unknown and misunderstood would not arise.

Rabindranath Tagore wrote, "death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."